Loved Ones
by HermioneLumos
Summary: Zoe has found a new love interest, Matt. But he isn't who he seems. Story is told by Zoe's daughters point of view, Jess. (O.C)
1. Chapter 1

"So i'm finally getting to meet this Matt then." I said, sitting down in the restaurant with my mother.  
"Yes." Mum told me. "You don't have to like him, but please don't act up."  
"Me? Act up?" I laughed. "Im not the one who ran off with another guy and ditched dad!"  
"Jess!" She said, asking me to be quiet. "People are staring."  
"Let them stare." I said, looking at her.  
"Look, I'm sorry but me and your father didn't work out." She said to me. "This will be better for us, I promise."  
"Better for us?" I asked. "More like better for you."  
"At least try and give this a go?" She asked, looking into my eyes, which I rolled.  
"Ill try." I said. "No promises."  
"Thats my girl." She smiled, and looked at the door. "Look, here he comes." I looked around.  
"Where? I see no handsome guy there." I said. "You told me he was handsome."  
"Behave." She nudged me under the table as I looked down.

I heard him greet her, then I heard them kiss, which I tried not to imagine. I heard my mum talk about me, which made me look up.  
"This is my daughter Jess." She said, and tapped me on the shoulder. I shot her a glare.  
"Hi." He said to me. "I've heard great things about you."  
"Bet you have." I replied coldly, but added a smile as my mum looked at me. "Nice...to meet you." I watched him smile and I sat down again, as did he.

I stared at the menu, already having picked what I wanted but I tried to avert my eyes to something other than his face. He didn't look genuine, but I guess I could see what my mum liked. His bulging wallet.  
"So, shall we order then?" Zoe asked, seeing Matt nod and I shrugged. "I take that as a yes." I shrugged again.

She called over the waitor and we ordered the food, and I got out my phone.  
"Jess put it away." My mum told me, and I sighed and put it back. I heard her whisper to Matt. "Teenagers." I sighed louder and gave her evils when Matt wasn't looking.

The food soon arrived and I ate in silence, nodding and humming every now and again when they asked me questions that I wasn't willing to answer.

We soon finished, and Mum hugged Matt goodbye and most likely kissed him but I didn't want to look. I knew he was trying to impress me, but my insticts told me different. He was strange. There was something he was hiding...

I sat in the car waiting for my mum to appear, and it took a good ten minutes. I got bored, put on the car radio and sat waiting, and soon enough, she appeared.  
"You could have been a bit happier." She sighed as she got into the drivers seat. I just shrugged at her. "I told you that you didn't have to like him."  
"I don't." I said to her.  
"Why?" She asked, and I sighed.  
"One, he took dad away from us, and two, there is something not right." I said.  
"What do you mean that there is something not right?" Zoe laughed.  
"He's hiding something." I told her. "Don't say I didn't warn you when you find out."  
"Don't be stupid." Mum smiled.  
"Oh what I'm stupid now?" I said angrily as we pulled out of the car park.  
"No I didn't mean that." She said to me.  
"Well, what did you mean then?" I asked, feeling a little upset.  
"I said don't be stupid." She told me. "Don't say things that aren't true."  
"How do you know that its not true?" I said to her.  
"Don't judge a book by its cover." She said, changing the topic. I sighed, and decided not to argue. I wasn't in the mood.

(So what do you think so far?)


	2. Chapter 2

Back at home, I didn't want to start a conversation with my mum, so I waited for her to start.  
"Matts coming over for dinner tomorrow." Mum said. "You are welcome to join-"  
"I know." I said. "Ill be there."  
"Good. Please, have some manner this time?" She asked me. I sighed.  
"Ill try."  
"Thank you." Mum said. "It was rude how you treated him earlier."  
"Well sorry I don't like him." I said. "He's hiding something."  
"How do you know that?" She asked, and I could tell she was annoyed.  
"Can't you see it in his face?" I laughed. "He has money. He wants more. Thats all he wants."  
"I don't love him because he has money." Mum said.  
"Yeah okay." I smiled sarcastically at her. "Sure."  
"Right look. Believe what you want. I love him." She said to me, and I could see the truth in her face. I had hurt her with my words.  
"Im sorry but I don't find him trust worthy at all." I told her.  
"You might not, but I do." She said to me, sitting down. I sat next to her.  
"Im sorry." I said, as I knew I had hurt her feelings.  
"Don't be." She told me. I didn't know how to reply, so I decided to go up to my room and actually do my homework for once.

As I was half way through, I heard my mum coming up the stairs, and she let herself into my room.  
"Your doing homework?" She asked me, slightly shocked.  
"Yes." I said and looked at her.  
"I made you tea." She said, and put it down on the coaster on my desk. I smiled faintly.  
"Thank you." I said, and she looked at my homework.  
"Your teacher will be proud of that. It looks good." She said to me.  
"She will be proud. Not because it looks good, but because I actually did it." I laughed, and so did she.  
"Well, enjoy your tea. Im going to watch a film." She said.  
"Okay." I smiled and watched her leave, then got back to my homework. I swear, if Matt hurt her, I'd never forgive him. Ever.

The next morning, I had to go to school thinking about the night ahead of me. Another night with Matt in the house and no dad there. I missed him. I wondered where he was at this moment in time. I hadn't seen him for weeks, and I missed him.

School dragged by, and I just wanted to get home and lock myself in my bedroom. Teachers must have known something was up, as I didn't seem as 'bright' as I usually did. Maybe that was because my mother was dating a man that didn't seem to be trustable at all.

I sighed as my teacher sat next to me in one of the lessons. She must have known something was up.  
"Jess, a word outside please?" She said, and I got up and went outside with her, ignoring the whispers from people wondering what I had done wrong.

I looked at her, and she spoke.  
"Im worried about you."  
"Why?" I asked, knowing the answer.  
"You don't seem yourself today." She said. "Whats wrong?"  
"Nothing." I said, even though she was being so nice to me.  
"Somethings wrong." She said. "I can see." I sighed.  
"Don't tell my mum i'm telling you this, okay?" I said, recieving a nod in return. "Well, I haven't seen my dad for weeks now, which isn't great, and my mum has found a new partner that I don't like at all."  
"Whats wrong with him?" She asked gently.  
"He just isn't... right." I told her. "I can see in his face that he isn't trustworthy. Im worried."  
"Why?"  
"Im just scared he's going to do something." I told her. "He's loaded, which is why I think my mum likes him, but I think he wants more than just love from her."  
"Have you spoken to her about this?" She asked me.  
"Yeah but she told me I'm being silly." I sighed. "Maybe I am. But I just don't like him."  
"Oh right." She said. "Id better go back in. Let me know how everything turns out." She smiled at me and we walked back inside. I sat next to my friend.

"What did she want?" Emily whispered to me as I sat down. I had known emily since primary school.  
"Oh, just wanted to know if I was okay. Apparently I haven't been myself." I shrugged.  
"Yeah I wondered if you were alright earlier." She looked at me. "You are okay aren't you?"  
"Im okay yeah." I looked at her, and began to explain the whole story.

After I was done explaining, Emily looked up.  
"You really don't trust this guy do you?" She asked me.  
"No I don't." I shook my head as the end of class bell rang. "Id better get going. Matts coming over for dinner."  
"Okay, hope it goes okay." Emily said, and I walked towards the door. My teacher gave me a reassuring smile as I walked past, and I just about managed a smile back.

I got home and my mum was tidying up.  
"Tidy your room. I looked at it and it was a tip." She said, whilst busy tidying the kitchen.  
"Why?" I asked. "Its not like he's going to go in there."  
"I guess not." She said to me. "But it really does need tidying."  
"Ill do it tonight." I said, before putting my bag down. "What time is 'he' getting here?"  
"Matt," She corrected me. "is getting here at around five ish. You have one hour."  
"Okay." I replied. One hour for what?

I went upstairs and got out of my uniform and put my shirt in the washing basket. Then I got out my laptop and sat on my bed, checking my facebook and twitter.

An hour passed quickly, and before I knew it, the doorbell rang, and I sighed. I walked downstairs a little while later to find them kissing by the kitchen sink.

I stood and watched for a little while and coughed, making my mum jump. She looked at me as her cheeks reddened, and Matt showed no emotion. It creeped me out. So I sat at the table next to my mother, and not him.

I ate in silence like I did the other night, only nodding and humming at the questions that were asked. Soon they got the message that I didn't want to talk, and created a conversation between them two. I just ate, thinking about what Matt might be up to, before I went up to my room and let them both to it downstairs. I didn't dare think of what they were doing.

I was tired from the night before, so I fell asleep without realising after laying on my bed, but I was woken by a loud noise just short of midnight.

I heard a scream, and it sounded like my mum. My heartbeat sped up, and I had tears in my eyes. The screams were getting louder, and more agonising to listen to. I snuck out of my room and onto the landing. I stood there in the door way and put the phone to my ear. I was calling the police.  
"Police please." I tried to whisper but ended up sobbing. The bedroom door flung open, and Matt stood there, blood on his hands. I couldn't move from my spot, I was too scared.

Matt past me and as he did so, his hand collided with my chest flinging me to the floor. I hit the floor hard, winded from the impact. I picked up my phone as I had dropped it, and also requested an ambulance.

I made sure Matt was gone before sneaking into my mums bedroom, but I didn't know if I was ready to see what was there. I took deep breaths, well as deep as I could as I was still a bit winded, and I walked in, knowing my mum would need help.

Nothing prepared me for what I saw.


	3. Chapter 3

What I saw was horrible. The once white bed sheets were now the colour of blood. I tried to move but my body felt like jelly and I fell over when I moved. Sobs didn't help, and I was almost screaming now.

I peaked over the bed at my mum, getting blood on my hands as I did so, the smell making me gag. Her clothes were ripped, and she had many stab wounds. I reached up and touched her neck, feeling it cold, and not feeling a pulse.

I stood up, the best I could, and began CPR, knowing that it wasn't much use. My mums body felt cold under my clammy hands, and I kept going until I heard sirens, and even then I kept going.

I was hysterical now. I knew I was going to lose her. I barely registered the paramedics, Jeff and Dixie, dragging me away from her. I kind of just went where my feet took me, and ended up in the back of the ambulance with my mums body. She wasn't there anymore.

Dixie held me as I sat in a daze, tears streaming silently and freely down my face by this point. She kept asking me questions but I didn't register them. I was too busy looking at my mothers body to bother thinking about what was being said to me.

Before I knew it, Dixie was helping me out of the ambulance, my legs being barely able to hold my weight. I tripped up a few times, letting out the odd sob but it was mostly tears of hatred towards Matt. I knew he was up to no good. But Mum wouldn't listen to me.

I saw them working on my mother in resus, and I tried to run towards her. Dixie must have grabbed me to stop me going in. I struggled against her and screamed at her to let me in, my feet slipping on the floor in the process. I got free after struggling but I got grabbed again and I fell to my knees and layed on the floor, crying my heart out. My mum was in there, losing her life.  
"Let me in there!" I screamed at everyone. "Thats my mum!" I clawed at the floor but someone picked me up by my arms and I still struggled to get away. I looked in the room and saw them cover up my mums body with a white cloth.

That was when I broke down. My mum, dead. I cried as my legs gave way beneath me, sat on the floor and sobbed loudly. Someone rubbed my back, I think it was Sam, and her and Dixie lifted me back up to my feet and into the relatives room. There, I continued to sob and scream, just wanting my mum to be there to hold me while I cried. But of course, she wasn't ever going to be there.

Someone tried to give me a cup of water to drink, hoping it would calm me down, but as they put it near my face, I pushed it away, splashing it all down me and the floor, but I couldn't care less.

I think Sam sat next to me and pulled me into an embrace. Sam was Zoe's best friend, so she was the closest think I had to a mother at this moment in time. I flung my arms around her, probably taking her by surprise, but I clung on to her, as if I were going to lose her aswell.

She stroked me hair with her free hand, and I heard her sniff, indicating to me that she was also crying. I held her, to comfort her, and she held me, to comfort me.

I cried nearly all night, holding her. Well, at least it felt like it. Sam continued to hold me, and I still held her, into the late hours of the night, where I eventually cried myself to sleep. I must have been a state.

When I woke up, Sam was gone, and my eyes stung as I opened them. I looked in the mirror on the other side of the room and saw the heavy bags under my eyes. It was then, that I realised what had happened last night.

I remembered her bloodied body, and then I looked at my hands. They had dried blood on them still, and I instantly felt the urge to throw up.

I ran from the room and straight into the ladies, ignoring the sympathetic looks from my mums collegues, and into a free cubicle, throwing up the dinner that my mum had cooked me. Thinking this, it made me cry, I felt stupid, crying over vomit, but knowing that that was the last thing my mum had cooked me was upsetting. I continued to cry as I left the loo's, and Sam greeted me outside.  
"You okay?" She asked me softly, putting her arm around me. I looked into her eyes and saw that they were red.  
"What do you think?" I said thickly, and I noticed she wasn't in her scrubs. "You not working?"  
"No not today." She said, pulling me close, and I put my arm around her.  
"Why are you here then?" I asked. I didn't mean to sound blunt, but now that really wasn't my priority.  
"I thought you might need someone here. You can't be here on your own." She told me, and I was greatful that she was there. A sob escaped me, and she heard it, and rubbed my back. "Let it out." She said, making me cry even more.

Just the thought of my mother was making me cry now. I looked at my watch, as to keep my mind off her, and saw that it was nearly eight in the morning. I remembered I had school and it would keep my mind off her.  
"I need to go." I said, and ran out of the building, having Sam chase me. She caught me though.  
"Where are you going?" She asked me, and I wiped my eyes.  
"Home." I told her. "I need to get my uniform."  
"You want to go to school?" She asked. "Why?"  
"To keep my mind off it." I said, nearly sobbing. "I will go mad staying in there."  
"You really want to?" She asked me again, and I nodded. "Let me take you."

She drove me to my house which was cordened off, and I had to let the policeman know it was my house and provide proof. They wouldn't let me in, so I had to get one of them to go in a get my uniform. They bought it out, and handed it to me, and Sam drove me back to hers to get dressed.  
"Im going to be late." I told her.  
"They won't mind for one day." She said to me, and for once, I agreed.

I got dressed quickly at hers and got to school, ready to suffer a day of trying not to cry.


	4. Chapter 4

I got to school and held my school bag tight in my arms, scared that if I let go, i'd fall apart. Sam looked at me sadly.  
"Are you sure that you want to go in today?" She said quietly, as I stared out the window.  
"Yeah." I said, trying not to let my voice crack. "I want to take my mind off it."  
"Okay, well, you have my mobile number, call me if you want picking up, okay?" She said, and I still didn't look at her, but I nodded and got out of the car. I saw Sam get her mobile out of her pocket as I got out, and wondered who she was going to ring.

I got to school, and the first thing I did was go to the loo and sort out my face. I was sure that I had smudges of make up from the night before.

I got some tissue and wet it, wiping down my face and looking at how bad I looked. I looked like I had been crying, and the bags under my eyes were still there. I rummaged through my bag and tried to find my make up, but I must have taken it out. All I had was my eyeliner, and that was going to have to do.

Walking out of the loos knowing that I looked a wreck was really making me feel self conscious, and I really hoped I didn't bump into my teacher. She would ask me about last night, and I would have to really try hard not to break down. I was nearly on the verge of breaking down right now.

I walked to my third lesson as I had missed the first two. and people stared as I entered, but I apologised for being late, and sat next to Emily.  
"Where were you this morning?" She whispered. "We needed to present that thing in science and you weren't there."  
"Im sorry but I had other things to worry about." I said coldly.  
"Like what?" She asked.  
"It doesn't matter." I said, not ready to tell anyone.  
"So you are late for no reason?" She whispered.  
"There was a reason." I said. "It just doesn't matter!"

I got called by the teacher and he told me off for talking, then moved me to the spare desk at the front. I got up, and sat over there, happy that no one was there to pester me. I didn't want to talk to anyone.

The end of the lesson came, and I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't done any work at all, and my teacher wanted to know what I had done.  
"Did you actually do any work?" He asked me, and I could hear that he was annoyed.  
"No." I said, more bluntly than intended.  
"Detention. Lunchtime." He said, and took my book. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair.

It was form time next, and my teacher looked at me as I walked in. I didn't sit next to Emily this time, and I got a few glances from her, most likely wondering why.

My mind flashed back to my mum, and my eyes watered. I was determined not to let them fall, so I scrubbed at my eyes and looked down, not wanting everyone to see my red eyes. I heard someone walk up to me, and I looked up. It was my teacher.  
"Come talk to me outside." She said. She didn't sound happy.

"Something isn't right with you today Jess." She said, as I leaned against the wall. Detention? That isn't like you." I just stood there and listened to her. "Do you want me to call your mother in?"

That did it for me. My eyes watered again and she knew something was wrong.  
"Whats the matter?" She asked me, and touched my arm. "You don't want me to ring her?"  
"No." I said. "I don't want you to."  
"Why not?" She asked.  
"Just don't." I snapped, and she looked angry, but hid it.  
"I just think it will be better to have a little chat with-"  
"You can't!" I almost shouted, and she raised her voice  
"Why?" She said.  
"Shes dead!" I shouted, and I sobbed against the wall. She instantly looked sorry.  
"Oh Jess I didn't know. Why didn't you say?"

I couldn't answer as I was crying to much, and I sunk down the wall. My teacher sat next to me and looked at me with sympathy.  
"When?" She whispered.  
"Last night." I managed to choke out between sobs.  
"Why did you even come into school?"  
"I wanted to...keep my mind.. of it." I said, wiping the tears away and getting frustrated when more fell.

I made a snap decision in my mind, and stood up, walking out of the school. My teacher let me go, knowing that I was struggling.

I got out of the school gates and broke into a run, finding a park somewhere and sitting on the bench, where I cried for hours. I knew school had ended as multiple people I recognised by their uniforms had walked passed. Sam was going to be wondering where I was.

I got up, slung my bag over my shoulder, and walked back up to the school where Sam was sitting in her car.  
"Where did you come from?" She asked as I made her jump by opening the door. I didn't answer and sat down. "You've been crying again."  
"My teacher knows." I said, putting on my seatbelt, not looking at her. I sniffed and wiped my eyes on my blazer.  
"She does?" Sam asked. "Did you tell her?"  
"It just came out." I told her. "She asked me why I didn't do any work and I shouted it, then ran."  
"Where did you go?" She asked as we drove in he direction of holby city hospital.  
"The park round the corner." I whispered. "I was there all afternoon."  
"Oh Jess." Sam said, and I could feel her watching me.

We drove in silence, and then I realised where we were going.  
"Why are we going to the hospital?" I asked, worried. I didn't want to go in there.  
"There is someone that would like to see you." She told me, and I was comfused.  
"Why me?" I asked.  
"You'll see." She smiled slightly as we pulled up outside the hospital.

"They are in the relatives room waiting for you." Sam said to me. "Ill come with you." I sighed.  
"Okay." I replied, and walked to the relatives room.

I didn't know what to think when I opened the door to the relatives room. I didn't know. I looked at them, and wondered if they knew. I tried to speak, but it was hard as tears were still falling down my face. I managed to choke out one word.  
"Dad."


	5. Chapter 5

"Dad." I said, and stared at him. He had also been crying, I could see it on his face.  
"Come here." He said, and I ran into his arms and began sobbing.  
"Nick, i'll come back in a little while." Whispered Sam, and left the room. I heard the door shut before I fully broke down in his arms.

My legs went to jelly and then fell beneath me while I cried, my dad holding me upright. He sat me down on the chair without letting go, and he knelt down infront of me and held me.  
"Shh its okay." He said, rubbing my back and comforting me. "It will be okay."  
"No it won't." I cried. "It won't be okay! I saw her dead!"  
"We will make it okay, alright?" He said. "Look at me."

I looked at him and saw pain there. His eyes were full of tears threatening to fall and I was scared that If I continued to cry, he would cry too. I wouldn't want to see that.  
"You will come and stay at mine." He said. "And we will get over this. Together."

I looked at him, sat back in the chair and wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my jumper.  
"So what do we do now?" I asked him. "I can't go home and get my stuff."  
"We will make do, okay?" He said to me, and I nodded back. "You look tired."  
"I am." I replied and yawned right on cue.  
"Get some rest. Ill go and talk to Sam, and i'll come back." He told me.  
"Okay." I saw, making myself comfortable on the chair. He kissed my cheek and then left the room, for me once again to fall asleep.

When I woke up, I wasn't in the relatives room anymore, but in my room at my dads house. I got up slowly, opened the door and went downstairs. He was making coffee.  
"Can I have one?" I asked, and he nodded.  
"You drink coffee in the morning too?" He asked, and I knew he was thinking 'just like your mother' but I didn't mention it. It made my eyes water at the thought. I blinked back the tears.  
"Yes." I replied eventually, and he handed me one. "Milk and one sugar."  
"Thats how your mum has it." He said, then smiled at me, and I looked at the coffee stirring it.  
"Thats how she 'had' it." I emphasized the word had, and before I knew it, a tear fell down my face. My dad handed me a tissue.  
"Jess." He said, sympathetically. "I know you miss her. So do I."  
"We need to get that Matt in prison." I spat angrily. "I knew something was wrong with him the first time I met him."  
"Like what?" Dad asked me.  
"Too much money for the average man, never smiled at me, was too quiet." I explained. "I told her but she didn't listen to me!"  
"The police know who he is and what he looks like. It just a matter of finding him." Dad explained to me. "They will find him, okay?" I nodded in response.  
"Good. Now drink you coffee." He said. "Im taking you clothes shopping."  
"What about my other clothes?" I asked. "At the house?"  
"You will get them back once the investigation has finished." Dad said. "But for now, im going to buy you new ones." I couldn't help but smile.  
"Thanks." I said, and sipped my coffee.

That was the first time I had smiled since my mothers death.


	6. Chapter 6

That day I almost had 'fun'. My dad bought me loads of new clothes, and we went out for lunch, and I came home with bags full of stuff. I almost felt spoilt.  
"Thanks." I said as I was about to go up to my room and put all my stuff away.  
"For what?" He asked, smiling.  
"For taking me shopping." I smiled at him. "I had fun."  
"I am glad." He said, and walked towards the kitchen. I walked upstairs, and through the clothes onto the bed, and folded them up, putting them into drawers.

Half way through putting them away, my dad came in and made me some coffee.  
"Thanks." I smiled. "When are you cooking dinner?"  
"In a few minutes." He said. "Why? You hungry?"  
"Yeah sort of." I said, and then looked at him. "I used to help mum in the kitchen, a lot."  
"Oh right." He said. "You can help me if you want. Im hopeless at cooking. You'll be lucky to get pasta thats not burnt. I would have just taken you out for hotdogs." I shook my head at him.  
"I'll cook." I told him. "You watch. Then you might learn something."  
"Okay." He laughed, and walked towards the door. Then he turned around and looked at me. "She would be proud you know." He said, and I looked down.  
"I hope so." I said, and turned around before he saw my tears fall onto my duvet.

After I put all my clothes away, I went downstairs to see what my dad had in his cupboards. He didn't have much. But I found some spaghetti, tomatoes, onions, herb and cheese. I cut up and skinned the tomatoes and put half in a china dish, then adding spaghetti before frying the onions. I put the fried onions in the spaghettie and mixed it up a bit. Then, I put the rest of the tomatoes on top and then added cheese and herbs.

I let that cook for nearly an hour in the oven, then dished it up hoping that it would taste as good as what me and my mother made.

"Mmmm." My dad said, taking his first mouthful. "Delicious."  
"Thanks." I said, not smiling but eating. "Glad you like it."  
"Its great." He said. "Never had anything like this."  
"Because all you eat is hotdogs." I laughed, and he looked at me.  
"Its not my fault I can't cook." He said.  
"It is." I told him. "Take a cooking class. If not one of them, then i'll help you."  
"Please help." He said to me. "The amount of times I've had food poisoning is unbelievable."  
"I can believe that." I said. "What are you even doing cooking meat if you can't even cook pasta?"  
"I wanted something different." He smiled.  
"Well don't cook meat anymore." I told him. "Im not a good vomit cleaner. I can't stand it."  
"Can't you?" He asked. "You wouldn't like the ED then."  
"No I wouldn't." I said. "I hate vomit. Its almost like a phobia."  
"Emetophobia." My dad said.  
"Eh?" I asked, looking at him.  
"Fear of vomiting." He said. "Emetophobia."  
"Oh, well I have that then." I laughed and finished eating. I saw that he was still eating so I got up, took my plate over to the sink and filled it with hot water.

Shortly after, my dad came out with his plate.  
"Oh, you wash up too?" He grinned.  
"Yes." I said. "I like to."  
"Why?"  
"I like things to be clean." I told him. "Can't have them dirty."  
"No I like them clean too." He told me.  
"No." I shook my head. "I mean they HAVE to be clean. I have OCD."  
"Since when?"  
"Since forever." I told him. "I've always had it."  
"Oh." He said, and watched me wash up. He saw me scrub the plates hard, but secretly I was imagining that they had Matts face on. I saw my dads face. "Careful you don't scrub them thin."  
"Sorry." I said. "I imagined Matts face on them." He laughed.  
"They will find him Jess." He said to me.  
"I hope they do." I said, heartbeat speeding up. What if he came after me?  
"They will." He said to me.

I washed up in silence from then on, until dad spoke to me a little while later.  
"Thanks." He said. "For the dinner."  
"Its fine." I said. "Ill cook tomorrow if you take me food shopping."  
"Yeah sure." He told me.  
"Tell me what you like to eat and ill make it."  
"I don't make a lot, so you get what you like."  
"Okay." I said, and yawned. "Im going to bed. Im tired."  
"Okay, night." He said, and hugged me. I hugged him back and went upstairs.

I got upstairs, and I let the tears flow again. Dinner wasn't the same without my mum there, especially when that was her recipe. I got dressed, brushed my teeth, and then got into bed, still crying.

I cried myself to sleep again, and saw things I never wanted to see again. These pictures were going to haunt my nightmares.

My mums body, sprawled out on the bed, knowing that her spirit was no longer there.


	7. Chapter 7

Waking up in the morning I felt horrible. My head was pounding and I felt a bit sick. Thats what happens if you cry yourself to sleep several nights in a row.

I rubbed my eyes hoping to rid them of sleep with no such luck. I sat up, and felt a little dizzy, but it soon passed, so I got up and went over to the mirror to see if my bad night sleep showed on my face.

Not to my surprise, it did. Bags under my eyes, pale face and tear stains. I sighed, and went for a shower before going down to make some breakfast. I saw my dads eyes on me as I walked into the kitchen.  
"Morning." He said, and looked at me.  
"Morning." I sat at the table, and looked at my phone.  
"You alright?" He asked me and I looked at him, giving him his answer. "Go back up to bed if you want."  
"No i'm not tired." I shook my head at him, looked him in the eye.  
"Well you look it." He said to me.  
"Thanks." I said.  
"I didn't mean it like-"  
"I know what you meant." I whispered, and he got up and hugged me, taking me by surprise.

I found myself crying into his shoulder again while he rubbed my back. Normally I would avoid situations like that, finding them awkward, but this time I really didn't care. I cried for several minutes before he pulled away.  
"I know you miss her." He said to me, kneeling down below me. "I do too. But this won't bring her back."  
"You didn't see her." I whispered, remembering the last image I had of her, sprawled out on that bed. "It was horrible. Everything was red." I looked down at my hands, remembering the blood had been on them.  
"That must have been horrible to see." Dad told me. "But remember the good times, yeah?"  
"I can't get that image out of my head dad." I told him, still looking at my hands. "I can't."  
"Well, try." He said, looking at me. He handed me a tissue.  
"I heard her screaming." I said, my voice broke at the end, and then I rubbed my chest, feeling the pain all of a sudden from when Matt shoved me.  
"You okay?"  
"I, I just remembered." I said, wincing. "Matt shoved me hard as he came out of the bedroom."  
"It hurts?" He asked, concerned, and I nodded.  
"Not much, but now that i've remembered it, I feel it." I said. Wow. It was really starting to hurt.  
"Ill take you down to the ED in a little while." Dad said looking worried. "Sam will be there. Im sure she will do it for you."  
"Thanks." I said, getting a little breathless. I continued to rub my chest, and my dad made me breakfast.

Dad drove me to the ED about half an hour later, and Sam was surprised to see us there.  
"Jess, Nick. Everything okay?" I looked at her. I could tell she was struggling too.  
"My chest hurts." I told her. "When Matt pushed me."  
"Oh, right." She said, looking a little worried. "Come with me Ill sort you out."  
"Im going to go to the staff room for a bit." Dad said. "Ill come back in a little while, okay?"  
"Okay." I replied, and walked of into a cubicle following Sam.

"How did you only just feel the pain if Matt did it?" She asked me quietly.  
"I only just remembered and then the pain came on." I shrugged. "I didn't like it."  
"No one likes pain." Sam smiled and I took off my shirt as instructed, she looked at my chest. "Hmm, a bit bruised." She said, putting her fingers on it. "Shape of a handprint too."  
"Really?" I said, looking down but not being able to see.  
"Yeah." She said. "Must have been a hard shove.  
"It was. It knocked me down." I said.  
"Did you hurt anywhere else?" She asked me, sitting on the edge of the bed. I shook my head. "Are you alright?"  
"I guess so." I said, and she looked at me, not believing me. "I just miss her." My hands began to shake and my eyes filled with tears.  
"Jess." She said sympathetically.  
"I couldn't save her." I whispered. "Im not any good at CPR."  
"You are." Sam said, even though she had never seen me do it. "Its just her injuries were too bad. There wasn't anything you could have done."  
"I could have stopped Matt from getting out. Then maybe the police would have him by now." I wiped my eyes, and I knew I was going to go hysterical soon.  
"They will find him Jess." Sam said. "They will."  
"What if they don't?" I asked her. "What if he comes after me?"  
"You're really worried about that, aren't you?" She asked me, and I nodded. Was I really safe from him? "He won't come after you."  
"You don't know that." I said to her, wiping my eyes before the tears fell. I noticed she was trying not to cry too.  
"Just let the police worry about him, okay?" She said, looking at me. My dad soon came in. I put my top back on.

"Everything okay?" He asked, sitting down next to the bed.  
"Yes." Sam said. "Just slightly bruised. Ill prescribe some like pain killers, but only take them if you need them. Only take one in every four hours."  
"Okay." Jess answered. "Look dad." I pulled the neck of my top down so he could see the bruise. "Its a handprint."  
"He must have hit you hard." Nick said as I put my top back to normal. I nodded at him.

Sam soon came back with the prescriptions.  
"You can go now." Sam smiled lightly at us. "Remember Jess, you have my number. Feel free to text me if you need me."  
"I will, thanks." I said, looking at her. I hugged her. She hugged me back, squeezing me slightly.  
"Bye." She said, and we left.

"Can we go food shopping now?" I asked my dad, as he drove.  
"Sure if you are feeling okay." He said.  
"Okay." I answered, and he drove us to ASDA.

Going around the shop, I filled the trolley with all sorts of food my dad had never heard of. All sorts of spices, cakes, ingredients. Dad wasn't too happy with me buying expensive food and not the ASDA's basic food, but you get what you pay for.

Rounding the corner, I saw a man with blonde hair and a blue shirt. I looked at him, my heart beat speeding up, and I stopped pushing the trolley.

Was that Matt? My mums killer?


	8. Chapter 8

I stumbled backwards into my dad, panicking.  
"What Jess?" He said, holding me up. I would have fallen over if he didn't catch me. I just pointed. "What?" He asked, increasingly worried. I looked again but the man had turned around. It wasn't Matt.

I felt like an idiot.

"I uh, thought it was Matt." I said, controlling my breathing and standing up right. My dad looked me in the eye.  
"Matt won't come after you Jess." He said. "Come on, lets finish off the shopping and lets get home."

My dad payed for the food while I stood there looking around, increasingly paranoid. I swear I saw Matt. I knew it was him. The other man must have stood in front of him so I couldn't see him anymore...

We went out to the car, drove home, and I started to put all the food away. My dad looked almost bewildered.  
"What?" I asked him, as he stared at some of the spices.  
"Ive never even heard of these." He laughed. "What are they for?"  
"Flavour." I told him, putting stuff in the cupboards. "Its so much better than beans on toast, trust me."

He put the food away, Matt still circling my mind.  
"Look dad." I said, and I think I startled him.  
"What?" He asked.  
"I saw Matt." I told him. "In ASDA."  
"That wasn't Matt." He shook his head and looked at me.  
"It was." I told him. "I know what I saw."  
"The back of his head?" He said, and I looked at him.  
"It was him." I told him sternly. "I know it."  
"Jess, Matt wouldn't be stupid enough to show up in a supermarket after everyone is after him."  
"It was him!" I almost shouted.  
"Believe that." He said. "But the police would have got him if it was."  
"I don't care." I said. "I know what I saw."  
"Okay." Dad said, holding his hands as if to surrender. I sighed, annoyed, and left him to put the rest of the food away.

I sat on my bed thinking. Had I really seen Matt? It was the back of his head after all... No. It wasn't him. How could it have been? But then again... It could have been. It certainly looked like him...

As I thought of him, I stood their shaking. I couldn't control my anger towards him. My mum was lovely. She wouldn't hurt a fly! Unless drunk, obviously. But even then she wouldn't know about it. She was pretty, a great role model. And that Matt took her away from me.

I threw my fist at the wall, hitting it as hard as I could, pain ripping through my knuckles. That was a mistake. At least I didn't hit the wall.

The pain made my eyes water, and already they looked swollen. A tear fell down, full of hatred, and I walked downstairs to my dad.  
"Jess whats wrong?" He asked, rushing over, seeing me cradling my hand.  
"I kind of punched the wall." I explained, as he took my hand, pressing it gently making me wince.  
"I think you've broken it." He sighed. "Two trips to the ED in one day isn't great."  
"Well lets go tomorrow then." I said, getting a bag of ice out of the freezer, putting it on my hand.  
"No you need to get it x-rayed." Nick said.  
"Can't it wait until after dinner?" I asked. "I wanted to cook."  
"I guess so, if you can cook." He said. "Don't hurt yourself anymore, okay?"  
"Ill try my best." I sighed, and got cooking.

"Mmmm." He said, taking a mouthful. "I love your cooking."  
"Thanks." I said, trying to hold a fork with my other hand and finding it difficult.  
"Hows your hand?" He said with his mouth full.  
"Sore." I told him, and showed him. It was bruising now.  
"I don't think the break is too bad, but it will need plaster." He told me and I sighed. Just what I needed. "Why did you punch the wall in the first place?"

This was going to be fun explaining...  
"I thought about Matt and it made me so angry that I just wanted to scream." I said. "I ended up punching the wall." I looked down and continued to try and eat, but it was hard. A sharp pain in my knuckle made me wince. I heard my dad sigh.  
"Come on." He said, standing up. "Lets go."  
"But I need to wash up." I protested, but he told me to go. The washing up would have to wait.

Sam wasn't too impressed seeing me in the hospital again, especially when she saw my x-rays.  
"Thats a bad break." She told me. "Plaster for seven weeks." I sighed again, but I knew I deserved it. I told her how I had done it because she asked. I saw her eyes water as I mentioned his name. She really was struggling, just like I was. "You saw Matt in ASDA?"  
"I thought I did." I said. "It looked like him."  
"But it wasn't." My dad piped up.  
"How do you know Nick?" Sam said, her eyes watering a little bit more.  
"I saw the man! It wasn't Matt!"  
"You saw a different man dad." I told him, as Sam began putting my hand in plaster. I looked at him, and he didn't speak again for a few minutes.

"Surely they would have seen him?" Sam asked. "Everyone knows who he is now."  
"Well he wouldn't show up for no reason." My dad said.  
"He's clever." I said. "He got my mum to fall for him when he didn't love her at all." I said, eyes filling with tears as I mentioned her.  
"Jess, I told you, you are safe with me." My dad said. "I won't let him near you."  
"I just don't want you getting hurt too."  
"I'll be fine." He told me, and then Sam had finished the plaster.

"Jess, I don't want to see you here again tonight, you hear?" She smiled. "Twice in one day!"  
"I know." I said. "I couldn't stay away!" I smiled.  
"Well, try." She said, and hugged me, being careful of my hand.  
"I will." I said. "No promises." She laughed.  
"Ill see you tomorrow. You're coming here after school?"  
"Yeah." I said. "I walk from school to here, and then dad will take me home."  
"Okay." She said. "Stay safe."  
"I'll try!" I said, and me and my dad left the hospital for the second time in 12 hours.


	9. Chapter 9

I went to school that dad, feeling a bit better as I hadn't cried myself to sleep the night before. I did have a nightmare about it, waking me up, but I told myself I wouldn't cry, so I tried my very best not too.

School was annoying. Teachers, and friends, started asking questions about what happened, as they had seen the news. I just told them I didn't want to talk about it.

I even stormed out of class as it became too much, and after that everything calmed down. I think it was because the teacher told everyone not to ask me about it. I couldn't wait to get home after that.

I had just left school, and was walking on my own towards the hospital. I looked behind me as I heard something, but there was no one there. I looked confused, shrugged and turned back around. I carried on walking, and heard something again. I turned around, and he was there.

I gasped, staggered backwards, and ran. I ran as fast as I could. I kept turning back, but he was following me. He knew where I was going.

I ran all the way to the hospital from there, not looking back again. I ran straight in, and Sam stood infront of me making me stop.  
"Jess whats wrong?" By now, I was crying and hyperventilating.  
"Matt." I managed to get out. "He was following me." I sobbed and tried to get my breath back.  
"Where is he?" She asked with full concern. I tried to answer but I could hardly breath as I was panicking. I began to feel lightheaded and she noticed me shaking. "Sit down for a minute." She said, guiding me over to a chair and she told me to take deep breaths. I couldnt see for a little while as fog clouded my vision but it soon came back.

"Where is he?" She asked me again, handing me a tissue. This time, I could answer.  
"He, he was following me home from school." I said, and then sniffed.  
"Do you know where he is now?" She asked, giving me some water. I shook my head and wiped a tear away.  
"But it was him. It was him." I said, drinking some of the water. "I swear."  
"I believe you." She replied, and I could see tears glistening in her eyes again. Whenever I mentioned him...

I just looked at her. Now it was her turn to cry. A tear fell down her face and she tried to hide it from me but I saw it. I gave her a tissue and I put my arms around her.  
"Sorry Im just frustrated." She said to me. "He's still out there, not getting what he deserves for doing that to Zoe." She said wiping her eyes.  
"I know." I said, still crying myself.

We were interrupted by my dad. He stood infront of us and looked at us.  
"Whats happened?" He asked. I looked at Sam, and she spoke, regaining her composure.  
"Matt followed her home." She said quietly, and I looked at my dad's face, it paled quickly.  
"He followed you?" He asked and saw me nod.  
"I ran all the way here after that." I said, wiping my eyes again.  
"She had a minor panic attack too..." Sam said looking at me. "I calmed her down."  
"Oh." my dad said and sat on the other side of me. "Dd you call the police?"

I didn't think of that. How could I have been so stupid? They could have had him behind bars by now! If only the death sentence was legal in this country.

I burst into tears again as he mentioned it, hating myself for not doing so earlier.  
"Jess why are you crying again?" He asked, and put his arms tight around me.  
"I should have rang them earlier and they might have caught him!" I sobbed.  
"You did what anyone would have done." Sam said to me.  
"No normal people would have rung the police." I almost shouted. "I didn't even think to!"  
"You wanted to get away Jess I understand." Dad told me but I shook my head.  
"He could have been behind bars now." I sobbed into my dads chest.  
"Okay, from now on, I will pick you up from school." He said to me, and I felt relieved.  
"You will?" I asked.  
"Im not having you walk alone with that man on the loose." He told me. I smiled at him.  
"Thanks dad." I said and kissed him on the cheek as I wiped the last of my tears from my face.  
"No problem." He smiled. "Want anything from the cafe?" He looked at me and Sam.  
"Coffee, please." She said, and smiled a little.  
"Hot chocolate for you?" Dad asked me and I smiled.  
"Yes please." I looked at Sam who still looked sad.

After my dad had gone, I got a good look at her. She was struggling to cope with my mothers death like I was.  
"Mum wouldn't like you to be sad you know." I said, looking at her. "She would want you to be happy."  
"I know." Sam smiled. "It was just a shock, you know. It wasn't her time to go."  
"No it wasn't." I said. "I miss her."  
"So do I." Sam said. "The ED isn't the same without her."  
"My life isn't the same without her." I whispered and she put her arm around my shoulders.  
"We will get through this okay?" She said. "It will get easier after the funeral next week."  
"I don't think it will every get better." I sighed. "I still can't get the images out of my head."  
"Ill help you." Sam said to me. "I will."  
"Thanks." I whisper. "What day is the funeral?"  
"Next friday." She said. "You'll be there?"  
"Wouldn't miss it for the world." I said, as my dad came back with the drinks.

That night, my dad told me to get a good nights sleep as panic attacks used a lot of my energy up. It was true. I was falling asleep while cooking the dinner. My dad had to keep an eye on me.

I decided to watch some TV before I went to bed so I put on my pyjamas and went into the lounge. I must have fallen asleep on the sofa as my dad was waking me up.  
"Jess go on up to bed." He said as I yawned, so I lef the room. I was just walking through the front door when a piece of paper was posted quietly through the letterbox.

I picked it up and took it upstairs before my dad wondered what I was doing. I opened it and I was shocked at what I read.

My heart was racing. The note read:

'4:30pm, tomorrow, Alleyway to the left of Holby City ED. Be there, or your doctor friend gets it.'

It was a note from Matt, asking to meet me. I'd have to go. I wasn't going to let him get Sam too. Not ever.


	10. Chapter 10

I sat on my bed before my legs gave way underneath me.

He was after Sam. If I didn't go to this meeting, Sam might get hurt. I couldn't let that happen. Sam was so nice, and Matt wants to kill her too.

He wasn't going to get her. I was going to go to that meeting, and I wasn't going to let him hurt anyone else.

I went to bed, worrying about the afternoon, worrying about Sams safety.

The next morning, I got dressed and went downstairs. I must have looked scared as my dad kept looking at me.  
"Seen a spider?" He laughed and I smiled.  
"Yeah I did but it disappeared so its okay." A little lie wouldn't hurt. He pushed a bowl of cereal infront of me and I ate it quickly so I could get to school faster.

The school went slowly as I knew I was waiting for something. I made my way through English, Maths, Science, Art and Geography, before getting into my dads car to take me to the hospital until five.  
"Ill be back in about forty five minutes." He said to me. "I suggest homework?"  
"Yeah okay." I said looking at the clock. I had fifteen minutes before Matt wanted to meet me. I got my books out so it looked like I was going to do some.

It became 4.25, and I snuck out of the staff room and outside the ED entrance. I looked behind me to make sure no one was following, put my hood up and slowly walked to the alley way.

What was going to happen to me? The same as what had happened to my mum? Worse? Well, it couldn't be worse. She lost her life. He could prolong the pain?

I tell myself to stop with the thoughts as I couldn't bare it. It was putting me off. I knew I had to go as Sam's life was on the line...

There. I was there in the alley. I walked down a little bit as I couldn't see anyone. Then someone grabbed me round the neck from behind.  
"What to do with you, hm?" They said, and I looked up. It was him. I was crying by now.  
"Please don't hurt me." I whimpered. What was he going to do with me?  
"We will see about that." I heard him say, and threw me at the wall, making me cry out loud. "Be quiet!" He kicked me to shut me up, but I screamed louder. I got out my phone and speed dialed Sam. I was so glad I set this up earlier. He kicked me and my phone flew out of my hand, but thankfully I pressed the call button.  
"Get off me!" I cried. "Get off!" I hoped Sam could hear me, so I shouted "ALLEYWAY NEAR HOLBY!" and then Matt stopped, and looked at the phone. He knew something was up.  
"You stupid girl." He started to laugh.

I was incredibly scared. What if Sam came after me and he got her? What if he got me, and Sam found me dead? Id rather her not see anything.  
"Please don't hurt me!" I screamed, as I couldn't stop myself. I had to talk to him and distract him. "Why did you kill her?"  
"Because she was worthless." He sniggered. "Just like her daughter."  
"The only one here thats worthless is you." I spat back in his face making him angry. I really hoped Sam was on her way...  
"Me, worthless? No." He said, putting his hand in his pocket. "Im powerful!"

He pulled his hand out from in his pocket in a flash, and then there was only pain.

He had stabbed me, just like he hand my mum.

He took the knife out, making me fall to the floor, and I lay there on my back. He plunged the knife into me again, and again.

The pain was unbearable, and soon I was beginning to feel cold and my vision started to go. I heard sirens through the ringing in my ears, and then Matt was gone. Someone had called the police.

I looked to the side and saw someone running up to me. I looked at them just before my eyes rolled back. Sam. It was Sam. She had heard after all.


	11. Chapter 11

(SAMS POV)

I saw her lying there on the floor with the increasing puddle of blood beneath her. Oh God why did she come here alone?

I picked her up knowing the hospital was just a few meters away, and ran as fast as I could without falling over. My eyes were filling with tears and they poured down my face as I ran.  
"Can I have some help in here please?!" I screamed in the ED and Tess, Dylan, and Nick came over. "Nick i'm sorry I just found her."  
"Oh my god." He said, gobsmacked. He had just seen his daughter covered in blood. I vowed there and then, that he wasn't going to lose two members of his family in a week. Jess was going to survive this.  
"We need to get a unit of blood in her now!" I said, going into doctor mode, and putting her on a trolley and wheeling her into resus.  
"Sam is it really a good idea that you-"  
"Im staying with her!" I said. "I won't let her die like Zoe did! Okay?!" I said to Tess, and she looked shocked.  
"Okay." Tess said, and I ripped off Jess's clothes and got a good look at her wounds. "Right, three stab wounds, one bleeding more than the others.  
"Arterial bleed." Dylan said, getting pressure on it. "Someone phone theatre."  
"These two may have damaged organs." I told them. "Tell theatre we need them Asap."  
"On it." Tess said, dialling theatre. I looked up at the window and saw Nick stood there, tears falling down his face.

I would see that look on his face forever. It gave me the determintation to save his daughter. He wasn't going to lose her too.

Then a long beep sounded.  
"Beginning CPR!" Dylan said, and started doing chest compressions. I tried not to panic.  
"Adrenaline." I said, and injected it into the canulla in Jess's arm.

I could do nothing now but watch. I turned to Nick who was being pestered by Charlie to go and sit in the relatives room but he wasn't having any of it.

Then the beeping came back.  
"Got an input." Dylan said, and I smiled at him.  
"Good work." I said to him, and I saw one of his rare smiles but it soon vanished.  
"Right, up to theatre now." He said, and I helped him wheel her out.

"Nick, she will be alright." I said to him as I let the trolley go. "It was touch and go though."  
"I saw." He said, and I walked over to the desk and got him a tissue.  
"She is in good hands." I told him. "Thats what you always say about your surgeons."  
"I know." He said. "I just don't know if this is what she wanted."  
"What are you talking about?" I asked. He was asking if Jess wanted to die or not?  
"You know how much she wants to be with her mother." I watched him say sadly.  
"Nick, she loves you, you know." I told him. "She wouldn't leave you just like that."  
"She is struggling Sam." He told me, but I already knew that.  
"I know. She loves you though. She will make it through this. I promise you." I tried to reassure him.  
"Thanks." He said to me.

I thought about leaving, and then turned to walk away after wiping my eyes.

"It was Matt, wasn't it?" He said, making me turn on the spot. I nodd at him. "I knew it. The moment I saw her injuries. Same as Zoe's."  
"I found her quickly though." I said. "She phoned me. I...heard it happen. I legged it over there."  
"Thank you." He said.  
"She will be fine." I said. "I promise you. Let me go and get you a coffee."  
"Okay." He said, and he followed me to the cafe.

An hour or two later, Dylan came into the cafe looking for us. I stood up and walked over there.  
"Surgery was complicated but she is recovering." He whispered. "We have her under observation and has been heavily sedated."  
"Okay." I whispered. "I'll tell him."  
"Okay." He said, and walked back out.

"So?" Nick said, sipping his coffee. I noticed he was shaking slightly.  
"She's recovering. The surgery went well." He didn't need to know it was complicated. He sighed a sigh of relief.  
"Great." He smiled slightly.  
"She has been heavily sedated though." I told him, and his face dropped.  
"That was to be expected." He said, and I put my hand on his reassuringly.  
"You can go and see her if you want to."  
"Okay." He said, and stood up. I went to take him to see his daughter.


	12. Chapter 12

(Sorry for no update yesterday... had a really bad day. Was really depressed... if I did what I was planning to, lets just say this story would have not been updated again...)

(NICKS POV)

I walked in and saw her pale body on the ventilator. She had been intubated, and she was sedated. Quite heavily too, by the looks of it.

I picked up her notes and I read that the surgery was complicated. Sam told me everything went fine...  
"What happened during her surgery today?" I asked Sam who was sat next to her bed.  
"What?" She said. I could tell she knew, but she didn't want to tell me.  
"What complications were there?" I asked, showing her the page, and she sighed.  
"They found an artery bleeding out. She nearly went down, but..." She smiled at me. "She's going to be absolutely fine Nick."  
"She's not fine though, look at her." I said, looking down at my daughter. I wish this had never happened. I wish I had never left Zoe. "This is all my fault."  
"What makes you think that?" Sam asked, almost amused.  
"If I hadn't left Zoe, Matt would have never been after her and Jess." I said, sighing, and putting my head in my hands.  
"Nick you know thats not true..." She told me. But of course it was.  
"It is." I sighed. "I could still be with her, she wouldn't have met Matt, Jess wouldn't be in this situation."  
"Nick, this is not your fault." Sam said. "Please don't blame yourself."  
"Yes it is." I sighed and looked at my daughter. She looked so frail, weak. I put her through that.  
"No Nick its not!" Sam almost shouted. "Don't talk like that! You didn't even know about the meeting."  
"I should have! Then she wouldn't have gone. I wouldn't have let her."  
"They found a note in her pocket, you know." Sam said a bit quieter. "She went because he told her he would take me."  
"What?" I asked confused, and she gave me the note.

'4:30pm tomorrow, Alleyway to the left of Holby City ED. Be there, or your doctor friend gets it.'

"She was protecting you?" I asked her, and she nodded sadly.  
"If only I knew. Then I would have gone instead of her." She looked so upset. "She wouldn't be here, it would have been me!"

I looked at her and she began to cry.  
"She shouldn't have to go through this at such a young age. No one should have to go through this!" I listened to her while watching Jess.  
"Sam you didn't know. Like me. I had no idea."  
"I just don't see why she didn't tell me." Sam said. "If she did, when she got the note, we could have alerted the police and they would have him." I handed her a tissue as I didn't know what to say. "She wouldn't have been almost killed."

I watched Sam cry, walked round then sat next to her. I felt bad that there wasn't anything else I could do, so I put my arm around her and she cried on my shoulder. That got me started, and I cried too, looking at Jess the whole time.

She must be in so much pain... She looked peaceful due to the medication but I knew deep down that she was struggling. I knew she wanted to be with her mother, after Matt took her from him.

I just hoped that she decided to stay with me. I don't think me or Sam would cope, losing the both of them.


	13. Chapter 13

(Back to Jess's POV)

I looked into the bright white light and I didn't expect to see what I saw. My mum was standing there, looking at me, and it made me cry.  
"Whats going on?" I asked her, wiping my eyes. "Where am I?"  
"Where you shouldn't be." She said to me, and wiped a tear away. "I saw what happened. You should have never have gone to Matt."  
"I didn't want him to get Sam." I told her, looking at her and trying not to blink as if she would disappear.  
"He wouldn't have gotten her. She was an army medic she would have known what to do." She told me and I looked down, forgetting that she might disappear, then realising and looking back. I was glad she was still there.  
"I didn't want him to hurt her." I told her, and she wiped more tears away.  
"You need to go back to them." She said to me. "To your dad and Sam. They need you now."  
"I don't want to go." I cried. "I want to stay here with you, where its safe."  
"Your dad needs you. Sam needs you."  
"You need me. I need you." I cried, and she looked at me, smiling.  
"They need you." She said to me, looking me in the eye.  
"I want to stay here."  
"Why? You have your whole life ahead of you." She said, moving the hair away from my eyes.  
"So did you. You never got to live it." I told her.  
"You won't either if you stay." She said.  
"I don't care, I want to stay with you." I said. "Its not the same knowing you aren't there. Cooking with dad isn't the same." She laughed, and it sounded like music to my ears. I needed to hear that again.  
"I will always be there." She said to me, and pointed to her heart. "Here."  
"I want you with me so I can see you though!" I cried. "I want to stay here. Please let me."  
"Go back Jess, you're not ready.  
"I am!" I said, and she hugged me.  
"Go. For me. I want to watch you grow up." She said, and I looked at her. She was fading.  
"Mum." I said, and looked. "Mum!"  
"Go." She said. "Ill always be with you, remember that."  
"No mum!" I screamed and I felt like I was being pulled away. I tried to grab her hand but I couldn't.  
"I love you." She said, before she disappeared. I shut my eyes and cried.

I opened my eyes and I was in a familiar place. Holby City ED. My dad was looking at me, as was Sam.  
"Hey." He said, looking at me. I felt that my cheeks were warm and he wiped them for me. I had been crying.  
"Hey." I said, and looked at him.  
"Do you know where you are?" Sam asked me.  
"In the hospital." I said sadly, shutting my eyes again, hoping i'd drift back off and see my mum again. I opened them when I realised it wasn't going to work.  
"Why are you crying?" Sam asked me softly.  
"I want to go back." I said to them, and I saw their confused faces. I must have sounded crazy, and half of it was probably because of the pain medication.  
"What?" My dad asked, stroking my forehead.  
"I want to go back to where mum was." I sighed tiredly, shutting my eyes again. I watched them as they gave each other a few glances. "But she told me to come back."  
"Where did you see her?" Sam asked me.  
"I don't know." I said, and now I knew I was slurring my words a little. "It was all white."  
"Go sleep." My dad said, seeing me struggle for words. "Rest."  
"I want to go back to her." I said, opening my eyes enough to look at them both. Sam was on the verge of tears again so I took hold of her hand. No one said anything again, so I shut my eyes.  
"Do you want anymore pain relief?" Sam asked me, watching my face. I nodded, and she went to get a nurse to administer it.

She came back with Linda and sat back in her seat. She looked at me as I took her hand again. I began to feel the effects of the drug almost instantly. My eyes drooped and I felt like I was sinking into my bed before I fell asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

I don't know how long I had been asleep, but when I woke up, everything was different. Dad and Sam were still there, but were wearing different clothes. I had obviously slept over and through the night, maybe into the next day.

I looked around and everything seemed too bright so I had to squint. My dad took hold of one hand while Sam took hold of the other.  
"How long was I asleep?" I asked, dreading the answer.  
"Three days." Sam answered and I looked at her shocked.  
"Three days?" I said and she nodded.  
"All that surgery and blood loss tired you out." My dad told me and I wiped my face with my hand. I was still tired now, after three days of sleep.  
"Do you remember what you told us before?" Sam asked me, and I nodded.  
"That I saw mum?" I said. "Yes."  
"What did she tell you?" She asked.  
"She said to go back. Go back down to both of you." I told her, and then I started tearing up. "But I didn't want to."  
"Oh Jess." Sam said, holding my hand tight. I wiped my face.  
"I didn't want to go. It was nice there." I said. Both were lost for words for a little while and I just sat and cried silently.

"How are you feeling?" My dad asked me, obviously tired of the silence.  
"Numb." I answered. It was true. I couldn't feel any pain. He sighed.  
"You can talk to us you know." Sam said, seeing my expression.  
"I know." I replied. I did. They would be the first people I would go to for help.  
"Then whats wrong?" She asked.  
"I miss her." I whispered. "A lot."  
"I miss her too." Sam said, and looked at Dad. "We all do."  
"You didn't find her." I whispered and cried. "You didn't watch her die!"

I had upset her, or I had made her sad. She began to well up, so I looked away fearing I would cry uncontrollably.  
"I know that must have been a terrible thing to witness, but you need to think about the good times, yeah?" She said to me, playing with my hand. Normally I would find this annoying, but this time it felt comforting. She saw me looking and stopped. "  
"No keep doing it." I said, and she did as I asked. "It made me feel a bit better."  
"Okay." She replied and kept doing as I had asked. My dad had even started doing it too.  
"I just cant get that image out of my head." I said, seeing it again and snapping my eyes shut wishing it would just disappear from my head.  
"I know." Sam said, and looked at Dad. "Just try and concentrate on the good times. And concentrate on getting back on your feet."  
"I don't want to get back on my feet." I said, and Sam looked at me.  
"Why not?" She asked, a little scared. I could see it on her face.  
"I want to be with her." I said. "With mum."  
"Jess, you have your whole life ahead of you." She said to me, and Dad looked at me.  
"I don't care." I said. I really did want to be with mum.  
"I, I think its best if you rest." She said suddenly and looked at dad, then I nodded. She nodded towards Nick and they both stood up. They walked over a little bit and began whispering.

I know what they are thinking. Im depressed, right? I heard them whisper the words 'Anti- depressants'. They wanted me to go on drugs.

"I can hear you, you know." I said. "Im not going crazy."  
"No one said you were." Sam said.  
"Then why are you talking about me going on anti depressants?"  
"Jess, you keep telling us you want to be with your mum." Dad sighed.  
"And?"  
"I think the drug will help you cope." Sam said.  
"I don't want it." I told them. "Im fine." I heard dad sigh.  
"Okay." He said. "Just rest now. You look exhausted."  
"Its hard when you're in pain." I said and winced.  
"Ill get Linda to get you some more pain relief." Sam said and left the room.

I wondered how long I'd be asleep for this time.


	15. Chapter 15

I woke up in a bad mood. I felt sick, and I was in pain again. But I was determined not to show it, so I opened my eyes and put on a smile. My dad was there, but Sam wasn't.  
"Hey." He said. "I was just about to go, my breaks over." He sighed, and I looked at him.  
"Go." I said. "Ill be fine."  
"You sure?" He looked concerned. I think he didn't see me wince.  
"Yep." I said, and looked down. I hope he didn't suspect anything.  
"Okay. Ill be back in an hour when its my lunch break." He said and kissed my forehead.  
"Bye." I said as he left the room. I wondered how long it would be for Sam to come back...

I felt bad still, and had a thought that wouldn't leave me alone. Maybe it was a good idea. If it would get my back to mum, then I was going to try it.

I slowly moved my legs over the bed, trying to ignore the agony it caused. Standing up, I felt like I wouldn't make it far. But lucky for me there was a store room around the corner. I knew that from my many visits here after school for my mum to take me home.

I dragged my feet a long the floor, stumbling a few times, before I managed to get into a rhythm. Someone was coming around the corner, but it wasn't anyone I recognised so I carried on.

To my luck, the store room was open, so I went inside and shut the door behind me. I felt a pain in my hand which I had only just realised. I had torn out my IV, and my hand was bleeding. It had dripped down my arm and I hadn't realised. Now they would follow the blood, and they would find me, so I would have to act fast.

I went through drawers until I came across the scalpels. I picked one up, and went to sit in the corner. Before using the scalpel, I squeezed my hand for a while to make it bleed more but it soon slowed down.

Then, I took a few deep breaths, already feeling sick from the smell of the blood, and then I drew the scalpel into arm, making it bleed further.

I kept drawing lines on both arms, and ended up crying. I looked, and that wasn't enough. It wasn't bleeding very much. It needed to bleed more if I wanted my plan to work.

I plucked up the courage to cut deeper, and this time it bled more. A lot. This was what I wanted.

I sat there for a few minutes and started to feel lightheaded, even though I was on the floor. I stood up, but instantly fell back onto the wall. I was extremely dizzy.

I saw the door open, to the store room, and saw a panic stricken Sam. I knew what this meant. I wasn't quick enough. I didn't cut quick enough or deep enough. I was careless. I had left a trail for her to find me.  
"Jess!" She said, almost screaming it. She ran over, just as I lost consciousness, and I fell into her arms. Seeing her crying was the last thing I remember.


	16. Chapter 16

(SAMS POV)

When I opened that door, I was shocked. I didn't know things had gotten this bad. I saw cuts all down her arms and she was bleeding a lot. She had lost a dangerous amount already, and was extremely pale.

I was just hoping that I wasn't too late. I would like to get her into a bed soon, before she passed out, so I ran over, shouting her name, but she fell into my arms. I knew she had done serious damage.

I picked her up again, and ran her back to her bed. She had lost weight, as she was really light for someone her age.

I had my scrubs and my pager on today, so I paged Nick after laying Jess down. I put pressure on the cuts. She had done a good job of them. They would need stitching and bandaging.

Then Nick came in.  
"What's happened?" He asked, and looked horrified at the state of Jess. "She didn't..."  
"She did." I sighed. "Left a trail from the IV to the store room, I got to her just in time I think."  
"I'll put her back on fluids and get her a unit." Nick sighed.  
"Okay." I said. "Ill sort out these cuts. She might have nicked an artery here as this one was bleeding a lot." He sighed.  
"I wish there was something I could do to help her." He said before leaving the room. I felt exactly the same.

I managed to sort out most of the deep cuts, with proper stitches, and a few of them only butterfly stitches. I bandaged them up fully, hoping that she wouldn't be able to cut through them. I looked at her, and she looked really sick. She was putting on a hard exterior, just like her mother used to.

Nick came back and hooked her up to the blood, which would hopefully wake her up in a little while. I looked at him once he was taking off his gloves.  
"Nick." I said, looking at him sadly. "She's not coping."  
"I know." He said, sighing.  
"I think that those anti depressants would be a good idea." I said quietly, hoping he would react like I wanted him to.  
"Me too." He agreed with me. "She's suicidal. She needs help."  
"I can book her in for a councilling session..." I offered, and recieved a nod in return.  
"Please." He said. "I don't want her to be like this. I can't lose her, not after I have lost Zoe."

He was struggling too.  
"Nick, i'll help her." I said. "I will."  
"Thank you." He said. He was stressed, frustrated, sad. I could hear it when he spoke.  
"I'll keep her under observation for a while." I said. "Ill make sure this doesn't happen again."  
"This wasn't your fault."  
"If only I had gotten there sooner." I sighed.  
"Don't blame yourself." He told me, and looked me in the eye.  
"Sorry." I said, pulling myself together. "I think I need a coffee... You want one?"  
"No thank you." He replied.  
"Can you stay here? If not, coffee can wait. I don't think she should be alone..." I said to him.  
"I agree." He said. "You get your coffee, I will stay until you get back."  
"Are you sure?" I asked, knowing that he was clinical lead. "Coffee can wait."  
"Im sure." He said, smiling at me. I know it wasn't a real smile, as it couldn't have been because of the way he was thinking.  
"Ill be back, ten minutes at the most." I said, and left the room.


	17. Chapter 17

(JESS POV)

To my annoyance I woke up in the hospital again. Sam was with me this time without my dad, and she looked at me terrified.  
"What?" I asked thickly, drowsy for some reason.  
"You know what." She said, with a slight hint of anger. "Why?"  
"Why what?" I replied, looking at her. I could barely lift my arms as they felt so heavy.  
"Why did you do it?" She asked me, and I sighed.  
"You know why." I said, looking at the ceiling. She knew why. Why was she asking me?  
"Jess you can't carry on like this." Sam said to me.  
"I know." I said. "Thats why you shouldn't have tried to save me. You know what I wanted."  
"Jess, you have your whole life to live. Im not letting you throw it away." Sam said. "Im not ready to lose you as well as Zoe. I miss her like you do."  
"How do you miss her like I do?" I asked. "I don't have a mother anymore!"  
"She was my best friend." She said to me. "I miss her."  
"I miss her too. She was the woman that gave birth to me!" I said to her, which made her look upset.  
"Jess, please don't do this anymore. We are trying to help you. We are starting you on a course of anti depressants, and if you don't like that, then we can get you a councillor."  
"I don't want pills." I said to her.  
"Please just give them a chance." Sam said to me, and I looked at her.  
"There is nothing wrong with me." I told her.  
"Then why are you doing what you are?" She asked. "You should be a happy girl!"  
"Well i'm not." I said. "I saw my mother die!"  
"I know you did, but remember the good times!" Sam said.  
"Im trying!" I shouted, and tears fell. "Im trying my best. Its not as easy as it seems."  
"Thats why we will help you Jess." She said. "Think of your dad. He is so scared that he's going to lose you."  
"He, he is?" I asked. I hadn't thought about that.  
"Yes." She said. "He cries when you sleep. He worries about you." I winced. I hated seeing my dad cry or even thinking about it. "Does it hurt?"  
"No." I said, shaking my head. It did, but I wasn't going to let her know.  
"So please please please try the anti depressants." She practically begged. I saw how much it meant to her.  
"Fine." I said. "But i'm not seeing a councellor."  
"Okay. Start slow." She said. "If you feel like the pills are working, then we will see about not having you see a councellor."  
"Okay." I said, looking at my arms. They were covered in bandages. "Was it really that back that it needed this much bandaging?"  
"No." Sam said, and I looked confused. "I put that much on so that you wouldn't think aobut doing it again."  
"Don't worry, I wont..." I said. "It hurt."  
"Well thats why its called self harming." Sam said to me, and I looked at her.  
"Its hurts now."  
"I did ask if it hurt." She sighed. "Ill get you pain relief."  
"Okay, but not strong ones." I said. "I don't want to sleep again."  
"Okay." She said and left. I watched her go, before turning over and laying on my side. I leaned on my arm and it really stung. Maybe I would remember this and then I would learn not to do it again.


	18. Chapter 18

Sam watched me as I sat there on the hospital bed. I was thinking about what she had said. Did my dad really feel like what she said he did, was he really that worried? Did he really not want to lose me? I didn't think I was important...

Sam reached down and handed me a tissue and I looked confused.

"Huh?" I said to her, and she pointed to her eye.

"You are crying." she whispered, and my hand flew up to my face. It was true. There was a tear there.

"Oh." I replied and wiped my eyes with the tissue she gave me.

"I really think that its a good time to try the anti depressants." She said to me sympathetically.

"I told you I didn't want them..." I said to her, and she sighed.

"But they will do you good! You can't keep living like this!" she said. "If not for me then for Nick."

I looked at her and wondered if the pills would be a good idea. If things went the way I wanted them to, then i'd get to see my mum. But then I wouldn't see my dad. If I stayed here, I wouldn't see my mum, which I desperately wanted to.

After a lit of thinking, I decided.

"I'll try the pills." I said.l, and she smiled, but that soon disappeared. "But..."

"But what?"

"I'm not having a councillor." I said to her.

"Thats fine." She said. "Lets see how the pills go. Let's take it slow." I nodded. "I will get a doctor to come and prescribe you."

"Can you not do it?" I asked, and she looked at me.

"I could but I thought it would be better for someone else to do it."

"Please can you do it?" I asked, and she thought.

"Fine." She said, and I was glad. I could trust her, and I like opening up to her. After all, she is the next best thing to a mother for me.

She checked me over and prescribed me some anti depressants, and I was nervous about taking them. I let her know, and she explained to me that there wasn't anything to be nervous about.

"Now take these, one a day, for a month and then we will see how you go. If they work, we can slowly take you off them and see how that works." She explained.

"Okay." I replied, and she handed me one with a glass of water. I took it cautiously and she smiled, satisfied.

"There. That wasn't so bad was it?" She told me.

"No." I shook my head. "So what, I just take one every day?"

"Yes." She said. "You should start to feel better after."

"Okay." I replied and rubbed my stomach.

"Does it hurt?" She ask just as my dad walked in.

"A little." I replied and looked at my dad as he came and sat next to me.

"I will get you some stronger pain relief this time." She smiled and stood up, leaving me to talk to my dad alone.

"I agreed to the anti depressants." I told him, and he smiled.

"Thats great." He replied, and I could tell he was relieved.

"Yeah." I said, and put on a smile for him.

"I take it Sam let you know of the side effects."

"Yeah she did." I told him.

"So you have to let me know if you get any of them." He told me sternly.

"I know." I replied. "Sam told me."

We sat in silence for a few minutes before he spoke up.

"I was so worried." He said and I felt guilty.

"Im sorry." I said, trying not to cry.

"Don't be. I know you miss her." He said and looked me in the eye.

"Yeah I do..." I said. "But i'm sorry for trying that in the store cupboard. I didn't know what else to do."

"I know Jess, but maybe we can put it behind us." He said. "Hopefully now things can be better."

"Thats what I want." I said.

"So promise me something." He said, and I looked at him, wondering what it was before I promised anything. "Promise me, that if you feel like doing anything like that again, you will tell someone, like me or Sam, and then we will be able to prevent this."

"Ill try my best." I said after thinking.

"Thats all I could hope for." He smiled just as Sam walked in.

"I have your pain relief." She said. "You might feel a bit sleepy though."

"Thats okay, I am tired anyway." I said, and yawned at the right time.

"Okay." She said and I watched her administer it through the canulla in the back of my hand.

Slowly, I began to feel a bit sleepier than before and my eyes started to droop so I shut them tight. I felt my dad and Sam grab hold of each of my hands which made me smile, and then I fell asleep.

When I woke up, it was dark outside and I looked to my right. My dad had fallen asleep there in the armchair, so I decided whether to wake him up or not.

"Dad." I said groggily, shaking him gently. "Dad."

"Hmm? Jess?" He said while he slowly came to his senses.

"Go home and get some sleep." I told him. "Ill be fine here."

"I am staying." He said, and I sighed.

"Promise you will go home and rest. Of at least the on call room." I said. "You made me promise you something earlier, so you promise me that you will get to a proper bed."

He thought for a minute or two, and then gave me an answer. I guessed he will still half asleep.

"Fine. Ill go to the on call room." He said, getting up and yawning. He stumbled into my bed as it was quite dark.

"Be careful." I told him and he just waved his arm at me which made me laugh. He was definatly half asleep.

A nurse came in after he had gone and she saw me awake. She offered me a cup of hot chocolate as I was quite awake, so I accepted and she went to get me one. She came back and I was beginning to feel a bit sleepy.

I drank the hot chocolate and then I sank down into my blankets and then felt like falling asleep. This would be the first time that I would have fallen asleep without the help of medication making me drift off. And for that, I was glad.


	19. Chapter 19

I woke up to find Sam next to my bed.

"Heard you had a good night." she smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." I said, slowly sitting up so that I wouldn't hurt myself. My arm hurt so I winced.

"Sore?" Sam asked as I rubbed my arm. I nodded in response.

"Yeah." I replied. "When can I get these bandages off?"

"When Im sure you aren't going to do anything stupid again." Sam said and I sighed.

"I won't." I told her and she looked doubtful. "Please take them off?"

"You really want to see them? The cuts?" She said. "They will scar..."

"I know..." I sighed. "Please take them off."

"Okay..." Sam said. She was worried that I would react to the scars.

Slowly she took off the bandages while I winced, and I saw the full extent of what I had done. There were deep red cuts horizontal down both of my arms and some were worse than others. Some of them even had stitches in. I couldn't hide my surprise.

"See what I mean?" she asked, and got a kit out to clean them.

"I didn't think I had done it that bad..." I tried to keep my eyes from watering.

"Yeah... The ones with stitches were bad. So bad that one of them had to be surgically fixed." she explained.

"Im guessing this one..." I pointed, and Sam nodded.

"How did you know?" She asked.

"It hurts more." I sighed.

"Well this might sting but I need to clean them now that the bandages have come off." she said and I looked nervous. "It needs to be done."

"Okay." I said, now regretting that I did them in the first place.

She began to clean them, and I winced. They did really sting, and they continued to sting afterwards. It made my eyes water because it was so bad. I looked up and tried to blink them away while the stinging calmed down.

"There there all done." Sam said watching me. "I told you it would sting."

"Yeah it did." I said, wiping the last of the water from my eyes.

My dad walked in.

"Jess what happened?" He asked. He must have seen the cuts and thought I cut again.

"Sam cleaned them for me." I said looking down at my arms. "It stung."

"Oh right. It will do." He said sternly. "Feeling better today?"

"Yeah." I replied.

"How would you feel about getting back on your feet?" He asked and my eyes widened.

"You think i'm ready to?" I asked doubtfully.

"Yeah I think you are." Sam said. "The sooner the better."

"Okay." I said, and Sam stopped me doing anything.

"Wait." She said. "I need to dress these again. Then we can start."

"Good idea." Dad said, and Sam rushed off to get it sorted.

The time came for me to try and get out of bed and I was really nervous.

"Okay Jess, I want you to swing your legs over the side slowly, and me and your dad will take your arms." Sam explained. I did as they said, and I had to catch my breath afterwards as it took a lot of my strength.

"You okay?" my dad asked as I winced.

"Yeah." I said as I recovered from it.

"So now, gently lower yourself down onto the floor..." Sam said, and I put my feet down. They grabbed my arms and pulled me upright gently.

My knees threatened to buckle and my head felt heavy as I did so, and the world began to spin. Was it supposed to?

"Sit back down if you feel dizzy." Sam answered my question as if she read my mind. I sat down and rubbed my head.

After a little while I felt a bit better.

"Ready to carry on?" My dad asked, and I nodded. I stood up again and the dizziness came back but soon passed.

"Better?" Sam asked.

"Yeah." I replied, and she took a greater hold on my arm, as did my dad.

"Now try and take a step forward." She said, and I did, but I stumbled and they had to pull me upright.

"Jess?" Sam asked.

"Im fine, im fine." I said. "I just lost my footing."

"Okay, now try again?" She asked and I tried again. I was more successful this time, but was still extremely shaky.

I soon got the hang of it, and I was happy, but tired.

"Do you want to try and walk on your own?" She asked me, and I nodded, even though I was extremely tired. "Okay." she replied and her and dad took their grip off me. I was standing on my own and trying to keep my shaking legs hidden.

"Try and take one step for me." Dad said, and I did as he asked. I was beginning to feel light headed. I took another and nearly fell over. I would have done if Sam wasn't stood nearby.

"Im tired..." I said, and then my dad came over to help put me back into bed. My eyes shut as soon as my head hit the pillow.

While I was asleep, Sam and dad were talking about Matt.

"Sam, I have news on Matt." Dad said, and she looked, giving him her full attention.

"Have they found him?" She asked, worried.

"No..." Dad said. "But..."

"But?"

"Someone else was found dead with the same injuries as Zoe was." He said watching Sams eyes tear up.

"No." She shook her head, letting a tear fall.

"And it wasn't far from here." He sighed. "Two streets down."

"Oh God." Sam said, holding back a Sob.

"I've put extra security on the hospital to make sure he doesn't get in." Dad said to her.

"When was all this?" Sam asked, really worrying.

"A few hours ago?" He said. "Why?'

"He might already be in here..."


	20. Chapter 20

(Im going on holiday on saturday so this will be the last update until at least the 5th as Im going to be busy and away all week! Sorry!)

I woke up and there were more people in my room than I was used to. Sam and dad were both there, along with some men that looked like security guards.

"Who are they?" I asked, making Sam jump. She didn't know I was awake.

"They are security guards..." Sam said, making my heart beat speed up.

"Why are they in here?" I asked, only thinking of one reason why. "Oh God... It's Matt isn't it?"

"Yes but he can't get to you in here with those guys there." She smiled to try and make me feel better. It didn't work.

"But he could be close by?" I said quietly and Sam nodded.

"He can't get to you." She said, and Nick sat up in the chair.

"No he can't." He said to me. "And he won't. I won't let him."

"See, nothing to be worried about." Sam smiled.

"He could get to you though." I said to Sam. "He wanted that."

"Jess." She said, looking at me. "I have had so much training while being over in Afghanistan. I do mixed martial arts. He won't get past me!"

"You promise me you won't let him get to you?" I asked.

"Well I can't promise but I will try my best." She told me.

"Thank you. I cant...loose you aswell as mum." I said sadly, and she looked at me.

"You won't lose me." She said. "I promise."

"Good." I said relaxing a little more. I turned to my dad. "Same goes for you."

"I know. One of them follows me everywhere." He chuckled and I smiled. "You seem a bit perkier today."

"I feel like I am." I smiled at him to give reassurance. The smile was genuine, not half hearted.

"Thats great." Sam smiled and grinned at Nick. "See? Everyone is okay to ask for help sometimes."

"I guess so." I smiled, and my dads pager went off.

"Sorry I am needed in resus." He sighed, and stood up. I watched him walk out.

"Bye." I said, and with that he had gone.

I had managed to dose off without realising, and what I didn't realise is that Matt had made his way into the hospital. Sam had left my side seeing me in capable hands.

She was given a patient file and she smiles as she walked towards the cubicle, but then the smile was wiped straight off her face.

"SECURITY!" She said trying to make a run for it, but was grabbed from behind. Sam managed to turn the situation around, and she had him on the floor within seconds just as security came in along with Nick.

"Don't worry, I got him." Sam said, getting off him, but he clipped her arm with something. Sam stood up and looked at it, and to her surprise she was bleeding.

She watched as they took him away and then Nick turned to her.

"Let me sort out your arm." Nick said looking at her arm. He took her arm gently and then she felt the pain from it.

Nick stitched up Sams arm for her.

"So Matts locked up now?" She asked as she looked at her arm and the six stitches in it.

"Yes." Nick said. "So who is going to tell Jess?"

"Can I?" Sam asked, and Nick nodded.

"Go ahead." He smiled, and they both got up and went in to see me.

I watched them enter as I had awoken from my nap and I saw Sam was holding a bandage to her arm.

"What did you do?" I asked, and looked at the laceration under the bandage.

"We bring good news." Sam smiled.

"You didn't answer my-"

"Matts been locked up now." She said, and I sat there, shocked.

"You're kidding." I smiled. "No way."

"Its true! I wrestled him down myself." Sam said, and then it dawned on me.

"He did that to you didn't he?" I sighed, and she nodded.

"She did well. If it wasn't for her then Matt wouldn't be in prison." Nick explained and I smiled.

"You will be alright though, won't you?" I asked and she grinned and nodded.

"I will be fine." She smiled, and then we got talking. Finally I could be happy again.


End file.
